"Loosen, Or I'll Shoot"

The amazing thing is, is that this guy was sober! Although I have to say that lug nuts do get me a little wound up sometimes.

clipped from news.yahoo.com SOUTHWORTH, Wash. - A man trying to loosen a stubborn lug nut blasted the wheel with a 12-gauge shotgun, injuring himself badly in both legs, sheriff's deputies said. The 66-year-old man had been repairing a Lincoln Continental for two weeks at his home northwest of Southworth, about 10 miles southwest of Seattle, and had gotten all but one of the lug nuts off the right rear wheel by Saturday afternoon, Kitsap County Deputy Scott Wilson said. From about arm's length, the man fired the shotgun at the wheel and was "peppered" in both legs with buckshot and debris, with some injuries as high as his chin, according to a sheriff's office report.

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Truck Gets Stuck

I knew those GPS things had a sense of humor!

LONDON (AFP) - A Czech lorry driver was stranded for three nights in south-west England after his satellite navigation system directed him down a narrow country lane, British newspapers reported Friday.

Yuri Odenhai, 45, was on his way to pick up a cargo of televisions from a depot in the county of Devon when his 40-tonne truck became stuck fast on a sharp bend near the village of Ivybridge, east of Plymouth.

The trucker's company, Kohlman and Hasek, refused to pay for an expensive recovery operation at the weekend, meaning the 50-foot (15-metre) long, eight-feet wide truck remained wedged in place.

Newspapers said Odenhai had tried to ask for directions before following the sat-nav down the lane but his English was not up to scratch and he could not make himself understood.

The lorry was eventually towed out by a tractor after a tree surgeon cut away surrounding vegetation.

Full Story

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Burglar Leaves Toddler Behind

Way too many criminals on this blog; but when you leave a two-year old at the scene of the crime...

Police are looking for a suspect that was identified by the two-year old he was baby-sitting.

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Thief Leaves Behind His Own Picture

Well, he had to see if the thing he was stealing was any good!

Police investigating the theft of a camera from a store in Connecticut were surprised to find the thief had left a picture of himself on a display model.

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Men Feel the Need to Drive Fast

So young men drive fast; now we know. What are they going to waste money on next? Is the sky blue? Is grass green?

clipped from news.yahoo.com GENEVA (AFP) - Young men drive fast because speed is perceived as inherently male, a team of Swiss and German researchers claimed in a study released on Monday. The scientists at the Universities of Zurich, Neuchatel and Heidelberg found that men who were exposed to a "typically male environment" drove "significantly" faster than when they were in female or neutral environments. The study was prompted by concern about the high proportion of young men involved in road accidents linked to speeding. Schmid Mast said the results were statistically significant. "The link between a macho attitude and aggressive driving has often been evoked but it hadn't been demonstrated," she told AFP.

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Zimbabwe Finds New Source of Oil - Sorcery

They give $17,000 to someone who says they can supply Zimbabwe's oil for the next 100 years using a stick and a rock. Hey - it's just as believable as "there is no greenhouse effect".

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Dirty Shoes Give Away Burglars

And this was BEFORE they drunk the vodka!

clipped from news.yahoo.com ATHENS, Ala. - Two burglars probably wish that they wiped their feet. Police who responded to an alarm about 1:20 a.m. on Thursday at the Athens Beverage Company followed a trail of muddy footprints from the store to a room at the Budget Inn. They arrested Adam Wayne Blankenship, 23, and Robert Taylor Williams, 35, after finding a pair of muddy shoes that matched the footprints and four bottles of vodka in the room. Blankenship and Williams, who both lived at the Budget Inn, were charged with third-degree burglary. They were being held in the Limestone County Jail.

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Thief Gets Stuck in Air Shaft

It would have been a lot funnier if he had been after weight loss pills!

clipped from news.yahoo.com SILVER SPRINGS SHORES, Fla. - A suspected thief trying to help himself to convenience store goods instead wound up crying for help after becoming stuck in an air shaft for 10 hours. Jeffery Mumani, 25, was rescued Tuesday. He removed an air conditioning cover at a CVS store Monday night and tried to enter the store via the shaft but became trapped, Marion County Sheriff's Capt. James Pogue said. He began calling for help about 8 a.m. Tuesday. It took firefighters an hour and a half to rescue Mumani, but he suffered only minor cuts and was in stable condition, Fire Rescue spokeswoman Heather Danenhower.

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Thieves Hold Up Cashless Bank

Hey - why didn't they steal the little pens instead? Oh, they never work...

Two men tried to hold up a cashless bank, despite there being a sign saying "This bank has no money".

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Oops, I Didn't Realise That Was Wet Concrete

Cooler than a handprint and your initials!

clipped from www.ananova.com Hans-Peter Wagner, 62, was driving on the A1 motorway near Ratekau in Northern Germany when he saw police flashing to get past him in his rear view mirror. He instantly made way and pulled over but went straight into a stretch of road that had just been freshly concreted. Wagner said: "It looked like a regular road, and I didn't see it was wet concrete."

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Get Attacked by Crocodile, Have a Nap.

If you were that drunk, you probably would assume you imagined it.

A tourist was so drunk that he fell asleep after getting attacked by a crocodile rather than seeking medical help.

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Wal-Mart Employee Fails to Pull Finger Out

"What happens if I put my finger in here..." - What? This guy couldn't get a job in McDonalds?

clipped from news.yahoo.com LAFAYETTE, Colo. - A little goofing off during a break from work led to a time-consuming, embarrassing ordeal for a Wal-Mart employee. Authorities said the man got his right index finger stuck in an oval-shaped hole of a cast-iron picnic table outside the store. They freed the man by cutting a square out of the tabletop, then slicing through the metal around his finger. Friedel says the man told him it was an act of "stupidity."

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Toothbrush Up Woman's Nose

Things fly up my nose all the time, and I never notice them.

clipped from www.ananova.com Doctors in India have removed a toothbrush from a woman's nose. The Mumbai Mirror reports that the broken toothbrush showed up during a CT scan, shocking doctors. The 31-year-old woman said: "I was brushing my teeth, my husband accidentally pushed me and the toothbrush in my hand broke. "But since that day, I began getting breathless and a foul-smelling discharge began to come out of my nose. I used to get restless gasping for breath sometimes."

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Man Survives Fall Dressed Only in Underpants

Hey, if Superman can fly in his underspants, why can't he?

An Australian man dressed only in his underpants survived a fall from his ninth-story apartment when an apparent incident of high jinks went badly wrong, police said Tuesday.

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French Rugby Fan Throws TV Out the Window

Well, at least he's more accurate than the French Rugby Team!

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