Ore. woman, 88, gives naked intruder's package the 'squeeze'

An 88-year-old woman fended off a naked intruder by grabbing the man's crotch and squeezing after he attacked her.

I'm glad that, at 88, she still had the presence of mind to fight back. He deserves all the discomfort he got!

Ore. woman, 88, gives naked intruder the 'squeeze' - Yahoo! News

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Mexican beauty queen arrested for suspected drug smuggling

Laura Zuniga, a Mexican beauty queen was arrested in the company of heavily armed, suspected drug traffickers and has been stripped of her Hispanic American beauty title.

Laura and seven men were detained at a military checkpoint in central Mexico on Monday. Police found assault rifles and $55,000 in cash in the luxury vehicles they had been driving.

Fortunately, she hasn't posed for Playboy, which seems an even bigger sin in beauty contest circles!

Mexican beauty queen dethroned after drug arrest - Yahoo! News

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Lebanon farmer grows super-sized spud - Yahoo! News

A Lebanese farmer, Khalil Semhat, has grown a giant potato on his farm near the southern Lebanese city of Tyre. The enormous vegetable weighs 11.3 kilos (24.9 pounds) and Semhat says he is planning on contacting the Guinness Book of Records...or MacDonalds.

Lebanon farmer grows super-sized spud - Yahoo! News

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Police chief arrests 48 relatives - Yahoo! News

So this guy has arrested 48 relatives, including some of his wife's. I bet you anything you like he hasn't dared to arrest his mother-in-law!

A police chief in a remote county of southwestern China has taken down 48 of his relatives, including brothers, cousins and a number of his wife's family, for various crimes, local media said on Tuesday.

Laobulaluo, a police chief in Heizhugou township, Sichuan province, had seen 25 relatives either jailed, sent for "re-education through labor," or punished in other ways, according to a report posted on state news portal Chinanews.com ( http://www.chinanews.com.cn ).

Police chief arrests 48 relatives - Yahoo! News

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89-year-old charged with keeping kids' ball - Yahoo! News

Police in Ohio say an 89-year-old woman is facing a charge of petty theft because neighborhood children accuse her of refusing to give back their football.

I was always scared of putting a ball into certain neighbors' gardens. Mainly because my parents wouldn't be happy when I couldn't get it back.

Seems a bit harsh to arrest a little old lady though!

89-year-old charged with keeping kids' ball - Yahoo! News

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Mad Cow-woman

A woman in Middleton, Ohio was arrested for standing in traffic, chasing kids and urinating on a neighbor's porch. All the while dressed in a cow costume.

She even wore it to court!

One Month in Corral for Disorderly Woman

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City uses DNA to fight dog poop

So this town is analyzing the DNA of dog poop - both on the ground and in the doggie bins to reward or punish owners as appropriate. I knew this technology would one day find a more useful application than catching murderers! (Never see that on CSI...)

City uses DNA to fight dog poop - Yahoo! News

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San Antonio is full of Poop

This is a marvelous thing - creating energy from human waste. I wonder if some cities would do better than others?

Washingon DC must lead the country on volume of political waste - they could probably keep most of the lights on the East Coast burning.

San Francisco might actually produce mind altering energy based on the amount of drugs in the sewage system.

New York would have very steady energy levels considering its population continuously spouts the stuff.

Any cities that might be different for you?


City plans to convert human waste to energy - Yahoo! News

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Postman Fails to Deliver

So this guy is way too busy to deliver the mail because he's too busy with his night school (presumably getting qualifications so he can get a better job). The really weird thing is that he didn't deliver his own mail! What about if it was his exam results??

FRANKFURT (Reuters) - A Scottish postman working in Germany hoarded at least 20,000 letters at home because he felt his work was too taxing, police said on Tuesday.

The postman in Frankfurt was caught when a neighbor saw him tipping a mail delivery into a rubbish bin and alerted police. Full story

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Police Officer Leaves Gun in Starbucks

Oopsy. Well, I guess the price of coffee is highway robbery - she was probably just making point.

A specialist armed police officer is facing investigation after leaving a loaded gun in a Starbucks cafe in central London, police said on Thursday.

The unnamed officer, who the Sun newspaper said provided personal protection for Middle East peace envoy Tony Blair, forgot the weapon after she visited the coffee house last week.

Full story

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How to Divorce Your Wife Without Her Knowing

So this guy paid someone to impersonate his wife so he could divorce her. Unfortunately she found out!

KOLKATA, India (Reuters) - An Indian man who took an impersonator to court to get a divorce faces legal action after his real wife found out, lawyers said Friday. Full story

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Woman Arrested For Killing Hisband With Couch

"I guess you could say it was mashed couch potato."

ST PETERSBURG (Reuters) - A Russian woman in St Petersburg killed her drunk husband with a folding couch, Russian media reported on Wednesday.

St Petersburg's Channel Five said the man's wife, upset with her husband for being drunk and refusing to get up, kicked a handle after an argument, activating a mechanism that folds the couch up against a wall. Full story

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12 Million Angry Bees

So, did they count the bees to make sure none were missing?


A lorry containing 330 crates of bees, about 12 million of them altogether, overturned on a major highway near the town of St Leonard, New Brunswick, in Eastern Canada on Monday, setting free thousands of irritated stinging insects. Police sealed off the vehicle and called for expert help with the millions that were left inside. Full story

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Giraffe Leads Mass Breakout

A giraffe lead a mass breakout at a Dutch circus on Monday. The giraffe kicked open a door and several animals escaped including fifteen camels and two zebras.

The police quickly rounded them up, but not before several locals (who had been imbibing a number of interesting substances) had sworn off drugs for life.

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TSA Laugh at Naked People

I know your face is covered, but I still get the image in my head of a group of TSA people standing around laughing at my less than perfect stomach….or worse!

Security scanners, which can see through passengers' clothing and reveal details of their body underneath are being installed in 10 US airports, the US Transportation Security Administration said Tuesday.

The booths close around the passenger and emit "millimeter waves" that go through cloth to identify metal, plastics, ceramics, chemical materials and explosives, according to the TSA.

While it allows the security screeners -- looking at the images in a separate room -- to clearly see the passenger's sexual organs as well as other details of their bodies, the passenger's face is blurred, TSA said in a statement on its website.Full story

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There's a Mystery Afoot!

Maybe they'll find a big pile of left feet?

clipped from news.yahoo.com VANCOUVER, British Columbia (Reuters) - Another severed human foot has been discovered washed ashore on Canada's Pacific coast, but police are no closer to solving the gruesome mystery. The foot, still wearing a shoe, was discovered on Thursday on a small uninhabited island south of Vancouver in the Strait of Georgia, and is the fourth discovered in the region in the past 10 months. The previous cases all involved right feet still in sneakers, and each was found on a different island. The Royal Canadian Mounted Police have not said if the latest discovery was a right or left foot.

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Cigarette Machines Know Your Age

Does the machine also slap you around the head and tell you not to smoke if you're under age?

clipped from news.yahoo.com TOKYO (Reuters) - Cigarette vending machines in Japan may soon start counting wrinkles, crow's feet and skin sags to see if the customer is old enough to smoke. The legal age for smoking in Japan is 20 and as the country's 570,000 tobacco vending machines prepare for a July regulation requiring them to ensure buyers are not underage, a company has developed a system to identify age by studying facial features. By having the customer look into a digital camera attached to the machine, Fujitaka Co's system will compare facial characteristics, such as wrinkles surrounding the eyes, bone structure and skin sags, to the facial data of over 100,000 people, Hajime Yamamoto, a company spokesman said. Yamamoto said the system could correctly identify about 90 percent of the users, with the remaining 10 percent sent to a "grey zone" for "minors that look older, and baby-faced adults," where they would be asked to insert their driving license.

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Miss Great Britain for Parliament

If it was Italy, she'd probably have her clothes off!

clipped from news.yahoo.com LONDON (AFP) - Miss Great Britain vowed to "put the beauty back into politics" Monday as she launched a bid to get elected to parliament that could get Prime Minister Gordon Brown sweating. Gemma Garrett, 26, is standing for the newly-formed Beauties for Britain party. And the busty Belfast blonde could get Brown all hot under the collar with her antidote agenda to "serious and boring" politics. "It's a bit of fun and it's a bit light-hearted," she told reporters outside the Houses of Parliament in London. "I think that people should be proud of Britain and proud of themselves especially the beauties that Britain has produced over the years and I'm very proud to be Miss Great Britain and standing for this." Asked if she could help Brown tackle the global credit crunch and recover from Thursday's poll mauling, she replied: "No, but I could maybe give him some advice on beauty products."

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Australian Sniffs Chair

I really must move to Australia - it seems the politicians are always fun to watch there!

clipped from news.yahoo.com SYDNEY (AFP) - An Australian political leader broke down at a news conference Tuesday as he admitted that he had sniffed the chair of a female colleague, local media reported. The confession came from the leader of the conservative Liberal Party in Western Australia, Troy Buswell, who has previously owned up to snapping the bra strap of an opposition party staffer. The woman involved in the incident, a Liberal Party staffer who does not want to be named, said Buswell sniffed the chair she had been sitting on at his Parliament House office in December 2005. Buswell has previously admitted to snapping the bra of a staffer for the Labor Party, which governs the state, and has been accused by a retiring lawmaker of making sexist remarks to her.

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The British Are Getting Ruder

3000 people were interviewed for this survey on manners, but what you don't know is that 6,000 told the interviewer to *^?% off!

clipped from news.yahoo.com LONDON (Reuters) - Britons are ruder than they were a decade ago, according to a survey on Monday that showed almost three-quarters of people think manners should be taught at school. More than 90 percent of respondents believe parents are failing to ensure their children learn proper manners and that bad behaviour of celebrities and footballers are setting a poor example for impressionable youngsters. Spitting and swearing were the most offensive behaviours, it found, while queue-jumping and not saying "please" or "thank you" were other main gripes.

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Never Late for a Date!

When I was young, doing something like that would have been so cool!

clipped from news.yahoo.com LONDON (Reuters) - Prince William landed a Royal Air Force helicopter in the garden of the parents of his girlfriend Kate Middleton but the Ministry of Defence defended his actions, saying he achieved essential training objectives. The News of the World newspaper reported on Sunday the 25-year-old William, who is second in line to the throne, asked permission from his girlfriend's parents to land at their Berkshire home due to a shortage of landing slots in Hampshire. While aviation analyst and RAF-trained pilot Jon Lake told the News of the World the April 3 flight was "ridiculous and inappropriate", the MOD said the two-hour training mission was fully authorised as part of William's four-month RAF attachment. "Battlefield helicopter crews routinely practice landing in fields and confined spaces away from their airfields as a vital part of their training for operations," it said in a statement.

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Psychics Face Persecution

Yes, they should have seen it coming, but maybe they know the petition will work? Or perhaps they could go on strike? No fortunes being told would certainly bring the country to a halt.

clipped from news.yahoo.com LONDON (Reuters) - Fortune-tellers, mediums and spiritual healers marched on the home of the British prime minister at Downing Street on Friday to protest against new laws they fear will lead to them being "persecuted and prosecuted." Organizers say that replacing the Fraudulent Mediums Act of 1951 with new consumer protection rules will remove key legal protection for "genuine" mediums. They think skeptics might bring malicious prosecutions to force spiritualists to prove in court that they can heal people, see into the future or talk to the dead. With the changes expected to come into force next month, spiritualists have faced a barrage of headlines gleefully suggesting that they should have seen it coming.

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Hedgehogs Replace Dogs

It's like replacing a dog with a hamster. I can't see them replacing dogs, but they are cute.

clipped from news.yahoo.com LONDON (Reuters) - Can man's best friend be replaced by a prickly pal the size of your palm? Busy pet lovers have been buying hedgehogs, whose nocturnal habits make them appealing to the modern worker because they wake in the evening when their owners arrive home after a day in the office. "They are unbelievably pretty little creatures&, the way they bumble along, the way they poke their noses into everything," hedgehog breeder Bonnie Martin told Reuters. Initial costs for the animal and accompanying equipment can run to 300 pounds. But hedgehogs, who can survive on cat food, are cheaper to feed because they eat a third of the household cat's daily diet, Martin said.

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Deadly Rhino Horns

Well, if they are used as an aphrodisiac, at least they will die happy!

clipped from news.yahoo.com CAPE TOWN (Reuters) - Two 19th century rhino horns stolen from a South African museum could be deadly if sold as a popular aphrodisiac because they are drenched in poison, a museum official said on Monday. The "priceless" horns were snatched from a display at the historic mammal gallery in Cape Town on Saturday evening, said Jatti Bredekamp, chief executive of Iziko Museums. "Unknowingly, the thieves have exposed themselves to more than the danger of arrest and prosecution," Bredekamp said in a statement. "Before the mid-twentieth century, taxidermy mounts were prepared by being soaked in arsenic and preserved from insect infestation through regular applications of DDT, both highly toxic poisons that retain their toxicity over time," he said. Bredekamp said the horns were deliberately targeted in a carefully planned robbery, and might be destined for Asia, where ground rhino horns are a prized aphrodisiac.

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Biggest Barbecue

I hope they had lots of coleslaw too!

clipped from news.yahoo.com MONTEVIDEO (Reuters) - More than a thousand barbecue fanatics in Uruguay grilled up 12 metric tonnes (26,400 lbs) of beef on Sunday, setting a new Guinness world record while promoting the country's succulent top export. Army personnel set up a grill nearly 1 mile long and firefighters lit six tonnes of charcoal to kick off the gargantuan cookout. "I'm very proud to be Uruguayan. We have the best beef and now we have the world's biggest barbecue," said one of the volunteer cooks, sporting an apron and chef's hat. The barbecue was organized by the National Meats Institute, or INAC in Spanish, which tracks beef sales abroad. "Uruguay is very small, it's not known for other events so we have to use these kinds of gimmicks so people find out where Uruguay is and what it has to offer," said INAC's vice president, Fernando Perez Abella.

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A Jewel Amongst Camels

In a follow up to the camel beauty contest story, one of the contestants has been bought for almost $3M.

clipped from news.yahoo.com ABU DHABI (AFP) - The crown prince of the United Arab Emirates of Dubai has bought a female camel for a record 2.72 million dollars, an organiser at a camel beauty pageant said on Monday. Sheikh Hamdan bin Mohammed bin Rashed al-Maktoum "bought camels... worth 16.5 million dirhams (4.49 million dollars), including a female camel... for 10 million dirhams (2.72 million dollars)," Hamad bin Kardoum al-Amiri said. More than 10,000 camels -- including females which are the fasting racing camels -- from across the Gulf are competing for prize money totalling around 9.5 million dollars. One hundred cars are also up for grabs. The contest is part of a camel festival in Abu Dhabi that aims to celebrate and preserve the region's cultural heritage.

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Singing Astronaut

Wait - do the rest of the crew get a vote on whether she should sing? Is she any good? What does Simon Cowell say?

clipped from news.yahoo.com BAIKONUR, Kazakhstan (AFP) - South Korea's first astronaut said Monday on the eve of her launch to the International Space Station (ISS) that she will celebrate arrival in space by singing for her fellow crew. "We will have food on April 12 on the Day of Cosmonauts and I will sing but it's a secret what is the song," Yi So-Yeon, 29, said at a press conference at the Baikonur cosmodrome in Kazakhstan where she is set to blast off on Tuesday. A South Korean space official said that Yi's 12-day mission would cost South Korea around 20 million dollars (12.8 million euros) and that he hoped the flight would help further his country's manned space flight ambitions.

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Valuable Underwear

Diamonds? Come on - that must be really uncomfortable!

clipped from news.yahoo.com SINGAPORE (Reuters) - A diamond thong worth S$168,000 ($122,000) was the highlight of a lingerie fashion show in Singapore on Thursday. The Triumph Luxurious Diamond Thong had 518 brilliant-cut diamonds, totaling 30 carats, studded into the front of a black lace thong in a floral pattern. The skimpy underwear that left little to the imagination also had 27 white gold tassels hanging off it. Danielle Luminita, a brunette model from Romania, was carried down the runway on the shoulders of two male models wearing only the diamond thong. A spokeswoman for Triumph International, the lingerie company that commissioned the thong, said that the thong would be dry cleaned before going on display.

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Five Legged Dog

Maybe they need more fire hydrants round there!

clipped from news.yahoo.com AVON LAKE, Ohio - A developmental problem split Angel the dog's leg, making her look like a five-legged pet. Veterinarian Frank Krupka, with the Avon Lake Animal Clinic in suburban Cleveland, said he's never seen anything like it. After examining X-rays, Krupka determined that a genetic aberration split Angel's front left leg in two, leaving her with three normal legs and two distinct parts of a fourth. Krupka said the condition doesn't cause pain but gives her problems moving around. He said surgery is unlikely on the about-7-month-old dog. Krupka said any surgery would be cosmetic and not improve the animal's walk.

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Camels Exploited

They probably answer the questions better than some of the human beauty contestants!

clipped from news.yahoo.com ABU DHABI (AFP) - More than 10,000 camels from across the Gulf will be competing for millions of dollars in prize money at a beauty pageant for the "ship of the desert" in Abu Dhabi next week. Camels from Bahrain, Kuwait, Oman, Qatar and Saudi Arabia will strut their stuff before a panel of expert judges who will decide which owners should be awarded prize money totalling around 9.5 million dollars. One hundred cars are also up for grabs. "Preserving the rich heritage of the UAE and passing it on to future generations constitutes one of the most important missions which people of the UAE wish to undertake, by connecting our culturally rich past with our aspired bright and prosperous future," the official WAM news agency quoted festival organiser Mohammed al-Mazrouei as saying earlier this week.

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NASA Wants Their Rocket Back

With a farm that big, he'll probably find most things at some point in time.

clipped from news.yahoo.com CANBERRA (Reuters) - A cattle farmer in Australia's remote northern outback on Friday said he had found a giant ball of twisted metal, which he believes is space junk from a rocket used to launch communications satellites. Farmer James Stirton found the odd-shaped ball last year on his 40,000 hectare property, about 800 kilometres (500 miles) west of the northern Queensland state capital of Brisbane. "I was riding out to check some cattle, and I came around the corner and there it was in a paddock," Stirton told Reuters on Friday. "I know a lot of about sheep and cattle but I don't know much about satellites. But I would say it is a fuel cell off some stage of a rocket." He said the object was hollow, and covered in a carbon-fibre material. He has contacted some U.S.-based aerospace companies to try to find out what the object really is.

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