Australian Sniffs Chair

I really must move to Australia - it seems the politicians are always fun to watch there!

clipped from news.yahoo.com SYDNEY (AFP) - An Australian political leader broke down at a news conference Tuesday as he admitted that he had sniffed the chair of a female colleague, local media reported. The confession came from the leader of the conservative Liberal Party in Western Australia, Troy Buswell, who has previously owned up to snapping the bra strap of an opposition party staffer. The woman involved in the incident, a Liberal Party staffer who does not want to be named, said Buswell sniffed the chair she had been sitting on at his Parliament House office in December 2005. Buswell has previously admitted to snapping the bra of a staffer for the Labor Party, which governs the state, and has been accused by a retiring lawmaker of making sexist remarks to her.

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NASA Wants Their Rocket Back

With a farm that big, he'll probably find most things at some point in time.

clipped from news.yahoo.com CANBERRA (Reuters) - A cattle farmer in Australia's remote northern outback on Friday said he had found a giant ball of twisted metal, which he believes is space junk from a rocket used to launch communications satellites. Farmer James Stirton found the odd-shaped ball last year on his 40,000 hectare property, about 800 kilometres (500 miles) west of the northern Queensland state capital of Brisbane. "I was riding out to check some cattle, and I came around the corner and there it was in a paddock," Stirton told Reuters on Friday. "I know a lot of about sheep and cattle but I don't know much about satellites. But I would say it is a fuel cell off some stage of a rocket." He said the object was hollow, and covered in a carbon-fibre material. He has contacted some U.S.-based aerospace companies to try to find out what the object really is.

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Python Eats Dog

It's like some sort of cartoon! The dog's legs were sticking out the snake's mouth!

clipped from news.yahoo.com BRISBANE, Australia - A 16-foot python stalked a family dog for days before swallowing the pet whole in front of horrified children in the Australian tropics, animal experts said Wednesday. The boy and girl, ages 5 and 7, watched as the scrub python devoured their silky terrier-Chihuahua crossbreed Monday at their home near Kuranda in Queensland state. Stuart Douglas, owner of the Australian Venom Zoo in Kuranda, said scrub pythons typically eat wild animals such as wallabies, a smaller relative of the kangaroo, but sometimes turn to pets in urban areas. "The family that owned the dog had actually seen it in the dog's bed, which was a sign it was out to get it," he added. "They should have called me then, but (the snake) got away and three or four days later, I was called and went around and removed it" after the dog had been killed, Douglas said. By the time Douglas arrived, all that could be seen of the dog was its hind legs and tail.

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Australian Postal Workers Allowed to be Fatter

I can't believe there is a maximum weight limit!

clipped from news.yahoo.com SYDNEY (AFP) - Australia's postal service has increased the maximum weight for its delivery staff after struggling to attract applicants weighing less than 90 kilogrammes (198 pounds), local media reported Tuesday. The old limit was designed to allow "posties", as they are known here, to carry 40 kilogrammes of mail on their small motorcycles for a total load of 130 kilogrammes, the Daily Telegraph said. "How many people weigh 90 kilogrammes? Not many. They lifted the limit to 105 kilogrammes after Honda gave them permission," said union organiser Michael Etue.

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Party Dispersed with Helicopter

Sometimes things go sooooo wrong...

An Australian teen is faced with a bill of $18,000 after police had to call in a helicopter to disperse the crowd that had turned up to the party he was having while his parents were away.

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Snake Balls Snapped Up on eBay

People will buy the strangest things. Hey, if I swallow a couple of golf balls do you suppose?.....maybe not...

In a follow-up to the story of a snake eating golf balls (Snake Eats Balls), the balls have been sold on eBay for over $1000!

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Snake Eats Balls

Hey, it was probably dark in that chicken coop.

A carpet snake had to undergo surgery after it ate four golf balls by mistake.

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Aussies Hate Fat People (On Planes)

I know it's not very nice when you're squeezed in a seat on a plane, but did they ask if airlines should have wider seats for everyone?

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Santa Gets the Heave Ho

Well, Santa doesn't lie so they must have sacked him for saying "ho ho ho".

clipped from news.yahoo.com CANBERRA (Reuters) - A Santa in an Australian department store said on Wednesday he has been sacked for saying "ho ho ho" and singing Christmas songs to children. Employment company Westaff, which supplies stores with red-robed, white-bearded Father Christmases, had earlier asked its Santas to say "ha ha ha" because the word "ho", which is American slang for whore, could offend women, media reported. In the latest incident, the Cairns Post newspaper said 70-year-old John Oakes was sacked on Monday for saying "ho ho ho" and for singing the Christmas song Jingle Bells. "They're trying to kill the spirit of Christmas," said Oakes, a retired entertainer who has been a Santa for three years. "The candidate was not sacked nor was his use of the term 'ho ho ho' a factor in our decision," Jansz told the Cairns Post.

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A Responsible Thief

You shouldn't steal, but it's nice to know the worst of us can still do the right thing.

A thief who stole a car with a 4-year old asleep in the back, left the vehicle and called the police to tell them where it was.

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"Ho Ho Ho" is a "No No No"

If they're worried about that, then what about the whole "here little girl, sit on my lap" thing?

clipped from news.yahoo.com SYDNEY (AFP) - Santas in Australia's largest city have been told not to use Father Christmas's traditional "ho ho ho" greeting because it may be offensive to women, it was reported Thursday. Sydney's Santa Clauses have instead been instructed to say "ha ha ha" instead, the Daily Telegraph reported. One disgruntled Santa told the newspaper a recruitment firm warned him not to use "ho ho ho" because it could frighten children and was too close to "ho", a US slang term for prostitute. "Gimme a break," said Julie Gale, who runs the campaign against sexualising children called Kids Free 2B Kids. "We are talking about little kids who do not understand that "ho, ho, ho" has any other connotation and nor should they," she told the Telegraph. "Leave Santa alone."

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Kangaroo Disappears from Copenhagen, Turns Up in Melbourne

Last month, we highlighted a story about a kangaroo loose in Copenhagen and how the police needed help catching it. Well, you would have thought the Australians would have been better at this, but this seems like a really ornery kangaroo!

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Hoons to See Their Cars Smashed

I suspect a number of them will get a kick from being on YouTube!

Street racers in Australia will soon see their beloved cars being deliberately smashed by the authorities in videos posted on the Internet.

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Satanic Killer Ordered to Say "Sorry"

Those Satanic Killers - they never apologize unless they're made too!

An Australian woman who stole a pet goat and was involved in slaughtering it in a mock Satanic ritual in a church, was ordered by a court on Monday to apologize to the church and the dead goat's owners.

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