Indian boy weds bitch

The dog finally relented after it was convinced the boy was committed to the relationship. Plus it got two rings and a chain. There must be better jokes than "His wife's a bitch"...but I can't think of any.

"A group of Indian tribals have married off a toddler to a female dog in eastern India in a bid to prevent his predicted death at the hands of a tiger, a report said Wednesday."

Indian boy weds dog to ward off tiger attack

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Couple weds at Taco Bell

I have to say the people quoted in this story seem to think it's a great idea to get married in Taco Bell. I'll consider it for my next wedding (don't tell my current wife though!).

'There's no stress': Couple weds at Taco Bell - Yahoo! News:

"Wedding bells meant Taco Bell for Paul and Caragh Brooks.

Customers inside the fast-food restaurant continued to order tacos and burritos as the couple sat Friday in an orange booth at Taco Bell and exchanged vows."

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Ore. woman, 88, gives naked intruder's package the 'squeeze'

An 88-year-old woman fended off a naked intruder by grabbing the man's crotch and squeezing after he attacked her.

I'm glad that, at 88, she still had the presence of mind to fight back. He deserves all the discomfort he got!

Ore. woman, 88, gives naked intruder the 'squeeze' - Yahoo! News

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City uses DNA to fight dog poop

So this town is analyzing the DNA of dog poop - both on the ground and in the doggie bins to reward or punish owners as appropriate. I knew this technology would one day find a more useful application than catching murderers! (Never see that on CSI...)

City uses DNA to fight dog poop - Yahoo! News

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Postman Fails to Deliver

So this guy is way too busy to deliver the mail because he's too busy with his night school (presumably getting qualifications so he can get a better job). The really weird thing is that he didn't deliver his own mail! What about if it was his exam results??

FRANKFURT (Reuters) - A Scottish postman working in Germany hoarded at least 20,000 letters at home because he felt his work was too taxing, police said on Tuesday.

The postman in Frankfurt was caught when a neighbor saw him tipping a mail delivery into a rubbish bin and alerted police. Full story

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How to Divorce Your Wife Without Her Knowing

So this guy paid someone to impersonate his wife so he could divorce her. Unfortunately she found out!

KOLKATA, India (Reuters) - An Indian man who took an impersonator to court to get a divorce faces legal action after his real wife found out, lawyers said Friday. Full story

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There's a Mystery Afoot!

Maybe they'll find a big pile of left feet?

clipped from news.yahoo.com VANCOUVER, British Columbia (Reuters) - Another severed human foot has been discovered washed ashore on Canada's Pacific coast, but police are no closer to solving the gruesome mystery. The foot, still wearing a shoe, was discovered on Thursday on a small uninhabited island south of Vancouver in the Strait of Georgia, and is the fourth discovered in the region in the past 10 months. The previous cases all involved right feet still in sneakers, and each was found on a different island. The Royal Canadian Mounted Police have not said if the latest discovery was a right or left foot.

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Australian Sniffs Chair

I really must move to Australia - it seems the politicians are always fun to watch there!

clipped from news.yahoo.com SYDNEY (AFP) - An Australian political leader broke down at a news conference Tuesday as he admitted that he had sniffed the chair of a female colleague, local media reported. The confession came from the leader of the conservative Liberal Party in Western Australia, Troy Buswell, who has previously owned up to snapping the bra strap of an opposition party staffer. The woman involved in the incident, a Liberal Party staffer who does not want to be named, said Buswell sniffed the chair she had been sitting on at his Parliament House office in December 2005. Buswell has previously admitted to snapping the bra of a staffer for the Labor Party, which governs the state, and has been accused by a retiring lawmaker of making sexist remarks to her.

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Deadly Rhino Horns

Well, if they are used as an aphrodisiac, at least they will die happy!

clipped from news.yahoo.com CAPE TOWN (Reuters) - Two 19th century rhino horns stolen from a South African museum could be deadly if sold as a popular aphrodisiac because they are drenched in poison, a museum official said on Monday. The "priceless" horns were snatched from a display at the historic mammal gallery in Cape Town on Saturday evening, said Jatti Bredekamp, chief executive of Iziko Museums. "Unknowingly, the thieves have exposed themselves to more than the danger of arrest and prosecution," Bredekamp said in a statement. "Before the mid-twentieth century, taxidermy mounts were prepared by being soaked in arsenic and preserved from insect infestation through regular applications of DDT, both highly toxic poisons that retain their toxicity over time," he said. Bredekamp said the horns were deliberately targeted in a carefully planned robbery, and might be destined for Asia, where ground rhino horns are a prized aphrodisiac.

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Five Legged Dog

Maybe they need more fire hydrants round there!

clipped from news.yahoo.com AVON LAKE, Ohio - A developmental problem split Angel the dog's leg, making her look like a five-legged pet. Veterinarian Frank Krupka, with the Avon Lake Animal Clinic in suburban Cleveland, said he's never seen anything like it. After examining X-rays, Krupka determined that a genetic aberration split Angel's front left leg in two, leaving her with three normal legs and two distinct parts of a fourth. Krupka said the condition doesn't cause pain but gives her problems moving around. He said surgery is unlikely on the about-7-month-old dog. Krupka said any surgery would be cosmetic and not improve the animal's walk.

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NASA Wants Their Rocket Back

With a farm that big, he'll probably find most things at some point in time.

clipped from news.yahoo.com CANBERRA (Reuters) - A cattle farmer in Australia's remote northern outback on Friday said he had found a giant ball of twisted metal, which he believes is space junk from a rocket used to launch communications satellites. Farmer James Stirton found the odd-shaped ball last year on his 40,000 hectare property, about 800 kilometres (500 miles) west of the northern Queensland state capital of Brisbane. "I was riding out to check some cattle, and I came around the corner and there it was in a paddock," Stirton told Reuters on Friday. "I know a lot of about sheep and cattle but I don't know much about satellites. But I would say it is a fuel cell off some stage of a rocket." He said the object was hollow, and covered in a carbon-fibre material. He has contacted some U.S.-based aerospace companies to try to find out what the object really is.

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Dinosaur Found on Bus

Actually, the dinosaur died while waiting for the bus!

clipped from news.yahoo.com AREQUIPA, Peru (Reuters) - Officials found the fossil of a giant dinosaur jawbone while investigating a suspicious package on a bus in the mountains of Peru on Tuesday. The fossil, weighing some 19 pounds, was found in the cargo hold of the bus, which was headed for the capital of Lima, and had been sent on the bus company's package service. Peru has struggled for years to combat trafficking of fossils and artefacts. Recently Yale University in the United States agreed to return thousands of pieces taken from the ancient Inca citadel of Machu Picchu to Peru. "The jawbone that was found could be from a triceratops, even though dinosaurs like that have never been found in southern Peru," Pablo de la Vera Cruz, an archaeologist at the National University in Arequipa in southern Peru, said after examining police photos.

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Celebrity Eggs

Makes a change from waxworks!

clipped from www.ananova.com David and Victoria Beckcham have become egg-heads - thanks to a charity Easter auction. Chocolatier Thorntons are auctioning a range of chocolate eggs bearing the faces of Victoria Beckham, David Beckham, Lily Allen, Prince Harry and Gordon Brown. Dark chocolate has been used to stencil the portraits onto white Easter Eggs which are ebing auctioned on eBay.

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Python Eats Dog

It's like some sort of cartoon! The dog's legs were sticking out the snake's mouth!

clipped from news.yahoo.com BRISBANE, Australia - A 16-foot python stalked a family dog for days before swallowing the pet whole in front of horrified children in the Australian tropics, animal experts said Wednesday. The boy and girl, ages 5 and 7, watched as the scrub python devoured their silky terrier-Chihuahua crossbreed Monday at their home near Kuranda in Queensland state. Stuart Douglas, owner of the Australian Venom Zoo in Kuranda, said scrub pythons typically eat wild animals such as wallabies, a smaller relative of the kangaroo, but sometimes turn to pets in urban areas. "The family that owned the dog had actually seen it in the dog's bed, which was a sign it was out to get it," he added. "They should have called me then, but (the snake) got away and three or four days later, I was called and went around and removed it" after the dog had been killed, Douglas said. By the time Douglas arrived, all that could be seen of the dog was its hind legs and tail.

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Urdu Is Now Easier to Learn - Official

Hey - I would have done much better in math if they'd dropped differential equations - what are they doing about that?

India has decided to made learning Urdu easier - by missing out the hard words.

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Man Arrested for Snake Walking

You can't even take your snake for a walk nowadays!

clipped from news.sky.com An afternoon stroll in Long Island has landed a man in the slammer, because he decided to take his 14-foot python with him. Curtis Dewberry was spotted by an officer for the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals walking down a main road with the reptile wrapped round his body. Dewberry has been charged with animal cruelty and failure to protect the public against dangerous wildlife. The fate of the snake is not yet known.

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Mysterious Container in Stinky Bay

It looks like a UFO to me!

Police are looking into a mysterious container, a tank, which is 27m high, has no markings and is thought to have fallen from a ship before being washed up on the west of Benbecula in Scotland. It was discovered by a dog walker on Poll Na Crann beach - known locally as Stinky Bay - near Griminish.

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Glow in the Dark Cats

The mice will see them coming!

clipped from news.yahoo.com SEOUL (AFP) - South Korean scientists have cloned cats by manipulating a fluorescent protein gene, a procedure which could help develop treatments for human genetic diseases, officials said Wednesday. In a side-effect, the cloned cats glow in the dark when exposed to ultraviolet beams. A team of scientists led by Kong Il-keun, a cloning expert at Gyeongsang National University, produced three cats possessing altered fluorescence protein (RFP) genes, the Ministry of Science and Technology said. "The ability to produce cloned cats with the manipulated genes is significant as it could be used for developing treatments for genetic diseases and for reproducing model (cloned) animals suffering from the same diseases as humans," it added. The cats were born in January and February. One was stillborn while two others grew to become adult Turkish Angoras, weighing 3.0 kilogrammes (6.6 pounds) and 3.5 kilogrammes.

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Condom Found in Whopper

More likely to get a heart attack from the calories and fat, than a disease.

clipped from news.sky.com A 24-year-old American man is suing a Burger King restaurant - claiming he found a condom in his Whopper. Van Miguel Hartless alleges he bit into the burger and found the unwrapped contraceptive under a piece of lettuce. "My third bite into the burger, it was just a foreign taste," he said. "It was a very sour, bitter sort of taste. It almost had a numbing sensation. "As I went to bite down a little harder, I felt a rubber grind in between my teeth. I saw it half in my mouth, half hanging out. In the lawsuit, he says the experience has caused him "pain, suffering, nightmares, distress, and medical expenses".

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Dog Flees Death Threats

As I've said before, it's always the dogs that suffer.

Leona Helmsley's pampered pooch Trouble, who inherited 12 million dollars, has fled to Florida under an assumed name after receiving death threats, a report said Monday.

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