Man Shot in Head - Didn't Notice!

A Polish man living in Germany was shot in the head five years ago and only recently found out.

He remembered being hit on the head during a New Year's Eve party but was too drunk to care.  He recently went to the doctor's with a lump on his head.  Surgeons dug out the bullet.

German beer works wonders for pain relief...

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German MP wants DNA testing on dog poo

There are other uses for this of course - postmen can sue if they get bitten and retain some DNA evidence, paternity tests could be run when someone's bitch gets knocked up and if the dog eats your homework...

Peter Stein, a conservative politician in eastern Germany, told AFP that under his proposal, officials would test the excrement and then match it up to the offending dog using a DNA database of all pooches.

German MP wants DNA testing on dog poo

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Car lands on church, car park full

They normally get angels landing in churches, not drunk drivers. He'll be going to heaven with that luck!

"A German motorist missed a bend in the road, broke through a barrier and hurtled up a bank, crash-landing on a church roof in eastern Germany, police said on Monday."

Driver crash-lands car on church roof - Yahoo! News

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Postman Fails to Deliver

So this guy is way too busy to deliver the mail because he's too busy with his night school (presumably getting qualifications so he can get a better job). The really weird thing is that he didn't deliver his own mail! What about if it was his exam results??

FRANKFURT (Reuters) - A Scottish postman working in Germany hoarded at least 20,000 letters at home because he felt his work was too taxing, police said on Tuesday.

The postman in Frankfurt was caught when a neighbor saw him tipping a mail delivery into a rubbish bin and alerted police. Full story

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German Soldiers Unfit

I'm positive they're all fitter than me!

clipped from news.yahoo.com BERLIN (Reuters) - Germany's young soldiers are fat, smoke too much and don't exercise enough, a report on the armed services said on Tuesday. "The public perception is that soldiers are slim, sporty and healthy. Unfortunately, the reality is very different," said Germany's army commissioner Reinhold Robbe as he presented the report. Some 40 percent of soldiers between 18 and 29 are overweight compared to 35 percent among Germany's civilian population, said the report, which also found young male and female soldiers smoked too much and failed to do enough sport. "I make no secret of the fact that these results worry me a lot," said Robbe, who blamed a passive lifestyle among troops. Once one of the world's most-feared fighting forces, Germany's armed forces now have about 245,000 uniformed staff.

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Secret Polar Bear

It's just so darn cute - no wonder they kept it a secret!

clipped from news.yahoo.com BERLIN (AFP) - After Cute Knut and Flocke, Germany on Friday got a new polar bear cub to ooh and aah over -- and this time one which hasn't been rejected or eaten by its mother. Wilbaer is the name of the new fluffy white arrival, a play on words combining Wilhelma and Eisbaer -- German for polar bear -- and although he was born on December 10 his existence has been kept secret until now. Wilbaer's mother Corinna appears to have decided to do her maternal duty and not abandon her progeny while still in cubhood, Stuttgart zoo director Dieter Jauch in southern Germany said. The zoo hopes to avoid the intense media interest that Knut attracted last year when the cub was abandoned by his mother and had to be reared by keepers at Berlin zoo. Images of Knut were beamed around the world and "Knut mania" brought the zoo a windfall of almost five million euros (7.6 million dollars) from extra visitors and associated merchandising. "Wilbaer will not be a commercial success," Jauch said.

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Body-builders Rescue Car

I guess one should always crash near a gym!

clipped from news.yahoo.com BERLIN (Reuters) - A group of 10 body-builders from a German gym took a break from their normal training routine to help a driver whose car was stuck in a ditch, police said on Monday. The men were training at the Explosives fitness studio in Bad Zwischenahn near the western city of Oldenburg when the 38-year-old driver lost control of his vehicle, veered into a meadow and plunged the front of his car into the two-meter (6 feet) deep ditch. "They dropped their sweat towels and water bottles and ran over the road to the crash site," a police spokesman told Reuters. "They then heaved the car out. It only took them a few minutes." The grateful driver joined the men at the fitness studio bar and treated them to a round of energy drinks, the police spokesman said.

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Salami Captures Thief

You should always remember to take your salami with you!

clipped from news.yahoo.com BERLIN (Reuters) - German authorities were able to pin a burglary committed in April on a suspected serial thief after he left a half-eaten slice of salami carrying a sliver of his DNA at a crime scene, police said Thursday. The 37-year-old Romanian man is accused of breaking into a workshop office in the western city of Darmstadt, stealing cash and two locks and causing damage worth around 3,400 euros ($5,055), Suedhessen police spokesman Ferdinand Derigs said. "He didn't bring the salami with him -- it was just lying around in the office," Derigs said.

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Creche for Bored Husbands

How much is a ticket to Salzburg?

Salzburg (Germany) has again set up a creche where women can leave their bored husbands while they go shopping.

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Giant Bug Found

So all those B-Movies were right! There are giant bugs waiting to eat us all!

clipped from news.yahoo.com LONDON - This was a bug you couldn't swat and definitely couldn't step on. British scientists have stumbled across a fossilized claw, part of an ancient sea scorpion, that is of such large proportion it would make the entire creature the biggest bug ever. The discovery in 390-million-year-old rocks suggests that spiders, insects, crabs and similar creatures were far larger in the past than previously thought, said Simon Braddy, a University of Bristol paleontologist and one of the study's three authors. "We have known for some time that the fossil record yields monster millipedes, super-sized scorpions, colossal cockroaches, and jumbo dragonflies. But we never realized until now just how big some of these ancient creepy-crawlies were," he said. But the next time you swat a fly, or squish a spider at home, Braddy said, try to "think about the insects that lived long ago. You wouldn't want to swat one of those."

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German Village Builds Fence to Resist Invaders

I'm sure there's a joke here about invasions, but it's probably in poor taste.

Residents of a village in Germany are so fed up with the annual invasion of millipedes, they are building a fence to protect themselves.

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Man Forgets Car

If I ever forgot a car, I'd be so drunk I couldn't drive it anyway!

BERLIN (Reuters) - A German man forgot his car after filling it up at a petrol station, police said Friday.

He just forgot about it and walked off home," said a spokesman for police in the western city of Wuppertal.

After the car had sat blocking the pump for about an hour, a woman working at the petrol station became suspicious and alerted authorities.

Officers contacted the 63-year-old from Remscheid, who came straight back to fetch the vehicle. He had paid to fill up the car before walking off.

Original story

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Axe Killer on Advent Calendar

He's looking hungry!

clipped from www.ananova.com Tourism officials have been slammed for featuring an axe wielding serial killer on a children's Christmas advent calendar. Head of the Hanover tourism board, Hans-Christian Nolte, has defended the calendar, saying: "He is part of our city's history. Even on guided tours the serial killer's story is told."

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Student Finds Valuable Painting in Sofa

That sort of thing ALWAYS seems to happen to students.

A German student who bought a battered fold-up sofa at a flea market has sold a 17th century Italian painting she discovered tucked inside it for 19,600 euros (28,200 dollars).

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